Blogs are all over the place - now I've got a travel blog to add to the repertoire. Good. Compartmentalisation. The basis of how advanced life is possible.

My internal clock is still screwed up. Met Aaron yesterday at TTSH, and by 6pm I was to totally gone, I fell asleep the moment I reached home without even having dinner. Then woke at 12, slept at 3, woke at 6 again. Spent my waking hours reading angiograms, tidying the com, reading other med students' blogs. Which is always a dreadful thing to do, since those feelings keep coming back. Of course, not all med students are like that - I've got a nasty feeling that most people are like that. It's just us; those few oddballs in the world who may eventually turn out to be psychopathic murderers or end up being seen by my psychomed colleagues.

Radiology's been fine, although I really, really cannot sit through the afternoon. Not even stimulants help - heck, I've had 2 doses of caffeine yesterday and still bonked out.

It's alarming how fast the pace is going. Today's my last day of the radiology posting - emergency med starts next week, and I can't deny I'm still in holiday mood. BECAUSE THIS WAS MEANT TO BE THE HOLIDAY PERIOD.

Determined to get a life today after school, I'm going to settle my domestic stuff. Look in at my animals - the fish tank (Miss Anemone has been moving around). the bulbs (3 more lily bulbs to plant and I'm done), and I haven't fed Phantom for almost 3 weeks, she must be so hungry.

I'm getting my social withdrawal again. This time - or has it always been the case? - it's extended to the whole of my social life, including people outside school. My own fault that I keep getting this stuck-in-limbo situation, neither here nor there. Not really the purist straight out to reach a goal, like what I witnessed during lunch on Wed - and yet, not really the purist heck I don't even care about what I do with my life loafer. I'm not a loafer. There's this element of wanting to sit back and let all the busy-ness rush past (i.e. ostrich syndrome actually) but life just doesn't allow for it. Goal-setting, the way of life.

Trying to get past the loneliness, amongst other things. At this moment in time, I'm juggling (read: struggling) between jet-lag, getting energy for lessons, feeling terrible about myself sometimes, and combatting the loneliness.

As most aptly stated, the analogy of drug abuse. It's like finally getting off a drug then getting exposed again - the 2nd time is so much harder. Or, like rebound hypertension. You finally control it, then it hits you with so much more force.

Living from day to day - is this what I want? Or, as the new garden signboard (now a room signboard) I bought from Chicago says:

Cherish the past
Dream the future
Live the present

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