Some humour in difficult times

We all need humour once in a while. These are fun - not only for people in the circle, but are hilarious to just about anyone else too.

__________________________________
A young crackhead looking guy approches me while I'm cleaning the reef tank:

Young guy: Are you guys hiring?
Me: Sure, do you have experience?
Young guy: Hell yeah! I have 5 tanks at home and I know everything about fish!! I have a reefer tank, an awesome finding Nemo tank with a Dory, a a spike, a shark, a bloat, a ...
Me: WOOOW! you da man! so you should know what this is? (I point to a red goniopora)
Young guy: ummmm ..... ummmmm .... ummmmm
Me: Meee..duuu..saaaaa
Young guy: a MEDUSA HEAD! thats it! A Medusa Head! (note: the coral is clearly labeled "red goniopora" in bold letters right in front of the piece!)
Me: No, that's a red dandylion plant
Yong guy: Oh yeah, I got like 10 of them in my planted aquarium. I just got too excited seing such a rare plant.
Me: Actually, thats a goniopora coral, not a plant.
Young guy (looking really confused): Do you know where the closests Petco is at?

A few days later I just had to go that Petco and guess who was working the fish department? True story.
__________________________________

A door-to-door sales woman walks in the store with a HUGE spray bottle:

woman: Let me show you the best cleaning spray you will ever use! Its great for cleaning glass (she walks over to the acrylic reef tank and points the sprayer at it!)
me: STOP!!!!!!
woman: what? this is perfectly safe, its all natural ingredients and biodegradable. Its just like windex but better and its only $5 per bottle!
me: Windex has ammonia. If any ammonia gets in that tank, it will kill everything not to mention it will ruin the surface on the acrylic.
woman: dont worry, it doesnt have any ammonia at all! See, the ingredients are here: distilled water, amooo .... ok, but its not like your going to put inside the water right? Let me show you how (she points the spray bottle at the tank again!)
me: STOP! please leave the store.
woman: why? don't you want your tanks to be clean?
me: : yes, but that tank is worth over $50K, do you want to risk being responsible for damaging anything in it?

She ran out the store like a bat out of hell. I get these people all the time.
__________________________________

A lady walks in around Christmas time looking for fish...

Lady: "I'm looking for a nice fish to give my husband for Christmas."
Me: "Do you have anything in mind, or would you just like to look around?"
Lady: "I'll just look around and let you know"

30 seconds later...
Lady: "Oh, this Dory is pretty." (Pointing to a blue tang)
Me: "Yes, and what size tank do you have?"
Lady: "It's a 10 gallon."
Me: "You probably need a tank larger than 10 gallons to keep that fish."
Lady: "No, my husband has been keeping his goldfish for a long time. I'm sure he can handle it."
__________________________________

To sidetrack a bit ... wish I'd come home to find another live pet for a birthday present!! Hahaha .. like how my parents used to do it years and years and years ago. I'd go nuts over a couple of mice (my first ever best present was a baby terrapin ... I cried my eyes out and screamed blue murder at my dad when he accidentally knocked the tank out of the windowsill and it fell 3 storeys down).

Hint for yx ... what about that lovely purple goose scorpionfish we saw at Henry's? wink wink wink wink wink!

OK, I'm joking. My tank can't possibly hold one more fish right now. A new Starfire glass front panel fish tank then? Muahahahahahahaha ...

{-+-}